Tag Archives: negative feedback

How to Deal with People Who Hate Your Writing

2124282684_81ecf64191_mAs great as it would be for everyone to love your writing, it’s not going to happen. It’s like recess in elementary school, when you want to play with anyone that’s doing something you enjoy. Just because you want to play with them, and maybe most of them want to play with you, there’s usually someone who wouldn’t rather not.

This can be harsh. Anytime you get rejected it stings, and when it comes to comments on writing, people can be brutal. They’ll tell you exactly what they think, especially now that social media is so popular. All they have to do is fill out a comment box or write a review. They don’t have to face you, or see that you’re human and have feelings that can be hurt.

Granted, this comes with writing. Negative feedback comes anytime you put yourself out there. I see it a lot on online articles. An article might be on a kid who survived cancer, but most of the comments focus on typos within the article. Or, recently, I read an article about E.L. James’ Twitter Q&A (E.L. James wrote Fifty Shades of Grey), where she was vilified. I’m not a fan of her writing, but the comments and questions some individuals presented to her were beyond rude.

One thing to remember is that writers aren’t the only ones getting negative feedback. Their writing isn’t the only type of work getting bashed. Think of restaurant servers, lawyers, store clerks, doctors, etc. There is always going to be someone who complains, someone who can’t stand what you do.

It’s important to keep in mind that getting upset over someone bashing you isn’t going to help. Nor is firing nasty comments back at them. The best thing to do is to ignore the negative comments, which is very difficult because writing is personal. You pour part of yourself into each piece you write. But, like bullies, the haters will eventually move on if you don’t react.

Since ignoring negative comments is difficult, an alternative is to complain to your family or close friends. Get your aggression out of your system with people you trust. That way, if you do respond to the reader, you’ll be more prepared to respond in a manner that defuses the situation rather than aggravates it.

As a writer, your goal isn’t to make everyone happy. It’s to write the story you envision and to make that story the best it can be.

How do you respond to negative feedback?

(Photo courtesy of Stefan Powell.)

Stop the Attack! Handling Negative Feedback without Losing Your Mind

writing

Writing is a personal act. In order to write well, a writer must dig within himself. This means getting attached to one’s writing, the characters, storyline, etc. This also means opening oneself up to public scrutiny. We’ve all read book reviews at some point in our lives. Some reviews are absolutely amazing, while others can be really hurtful.

With the Internet being so prevalent in our lives, it’s easy to go online and comment on authors and their writing. The anonymity makes it even easier for readers to say just what they think about someone or someone’s writing, without truly thinking through what they’re saying.

This can make it difficult for writers to want to share their work with the world, especially if they’re concerned about offending someone. In one of my stories, I had two cops get killed. It was necessary to the story that they died, but I received some very negative backlash for that story. A few individuals didn’t like that the cops died and they made it very clear how I was being un-American and how I was making police look bad. These few readers grossly misinterpreted my writing, but it still stung to read their reviews.

No matter what you write or how careful you are trying not to offend anyone, you will tick someone off. There are too many people in this world to have everyone like your writing. Look at some of the most famous works of literature. They could have sold millions of copies, but not everyone likes them.

So, how do you handle the negativity?

  1. The best thing to do is to ignore the hurtful words. That’s so much easier said than done, but when you engage with someone who wrote something nasty about you or your writing, you’ll only end up with a headache. Going back and forth with someone who isn’t thinking rationally, or who only wants to rant, isn’t a productive or healthy use of your time.
  2. Laugh off the comments. This specific example doesn’t pertain to writing, but it gets the point across of how ridiculous some comments can be. One of my friends posted a picture of herself pre-weight loss. She was slightly overweight, but still looked amazing. She got a lot of people calling her fat and fugly and all sorts of horrible things. (One even went as far as telling her to starve herself.) Then, after she reached her goal weight, she posted another picture of herself (she had spent her time training for a marathon, and had just completed it). Instead of receiving an overwhelming amount of positive feedback, there were some people who told her she was too skinny, that she had too much muscle, and that she looked too manly and so was ugly. Then, there were still a few people who said she was fat. No matter what happens there are people in this world who strive to put other people down. Most times their comments make no sense, so laugh them off. Who knows, maybe those individuals giving negative feedback are doing so because they’re unhappy with their lives and are displacing their anger and disappointment at themselves onto you.
  3. Embrace the fact that people are reacting to your writing. Whether good or bad, comments are feedback. When people take time out of their busy schedules to comment on something you wrote, you’ve struck a chord with them. You’ve influenced them in some way. At the end of the day that’s what writers hope to accomplish: creating an impact on peoples’ lives. Look at Fifty Shades of Grey. This was a book that many people hated, and they made their feelings well known. However, if readers hadn’t been so boisterous in their ranting, this novel wouldn’t have been nearly as financially successful as it was.

How do you go about handling negative feedback?

(Photo courtesy of ChristaBanister.)